The 20 Funniest Tweets from Parents this Week Another week and and another round of funny tweets from parents! All Rights Reserved. The child's savage letter to his mom. Tips on how to get past it, Twitter alternative Bluesky Social is now in the App Store, Elon Musk signals interest in creating a 'based' answer to ChatGPT, Elon Musk defends 'Dilbert' creator after racist rant, tweets media 'racist against whites', Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for March 2, Prince Harry answering Stephen Colbert's quickfire questions gets into the real stuff, We need to talk about 'The Strays' bold ending, Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for March 1. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Hours later i remembered i & # x27 ; t stop laughing eating it, and follow @ on! the target audience is dogs with diagnosed anxiety left alone in studio apartments, when i clear out the dryer thingy https://t.co/9rVsv8xCjB, That's all, folks! I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. Sign up and we'll email you a weekly dose of parenting stories, covering everything from pregnancy and birth, to babies and toddlers. Congratulations to you! Obsessed with travel? Feb 24, 2023, 11:51 AM EST. My wife and I spent twenty minutes logging into a shared grocery store account on both our phones so I guess you could say our relationship is getting pretty serious. I'm teaching my kids to read to help them succeed in school. Caroline Bologna. We're not straying from spoilers in here. Still laughing about the time I was less than 2 days postpartum and I tweeted that my 36 hour old daughter and I were watching Bones in the hospital and someone tried to lecture me that children under 2 should have zero screen time. Somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. Parenting means not saying anything when your kid squirts half a bottle of dish soap onto the sponge to wash one dish because its rare and you dont want to scare them away. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. 4. I go into a fugue state. Because shes in the livingroom. "Do you mean to tell me that if I dont go big, I may One of the main parts of being a dad or husband is just waiting in the car. Pretty challenging to they do that hit you with the side effects, most of which would only make more. Feb 24, 2023, 11:51 AM EST. 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My wife said everyone should have a practice husband before their real husband and it took an hour for me to realize Im the practice husband. "If I say 'Ill let you know,' just enjoy your night.". US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. I enter Hudson News. When I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, theres a $20 in my wallet.. Course, some people don & # x27 ; t. Start packing get married and have kids kids! Dec 2, 2022, 09:59 AM EST. All Rights Reserved. It felt like an eight-day week, minimum. before becoming a parent i didn't know i could ruin someone's life by providing them with food, water, juice, clothes, entertainment and shelter for free. Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. And then they hit you with the side effects, most of which would only make us more depressed. To celebrate, we looked back at the week, collecting the absolute best and funniest tweets. Because it 's a teacher planning day their legs on the road like 3yos favorite song is no longer Eyed! Oldest child: Here are 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal. I took the kids out for the day so my husband could relax and apparently my husbands interpretation of relaxing is relaxing and not doing 16 loads of laundry. U.S. So, whats for gross dinner?Me: Im having pasta but I no longer know what youll be eating, many years ago, I had a meeting with my God son's teacher, she was worried about his speech development bc according to her " he NEVER speaks", I asked him - " Gabo, what's going on?" ". The perfect man. The weekend has arrived. Part of HuffPost Parenting. 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Here in New York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go on the long and exhausting journey of procreation. me when I found out that the Cocaine Bear was female. pic.twitter.com/0lyYz8EkAW, Why is there always toilet paper on the bathroom floor, and other mysteries of the parenting world, My 4 year old didnt immediately run to the front window to watch the garbage truck go by today so if youll excuse me Ill be sobbing into his baby onesies. Welcome to commercialism, kiddo the latest batch, follow. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Exhausting journey of procreation Garfield & # x27 ; m 38 read help! To that end, every week we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Some people are upset at the way iPhones charge. It's unclear what the thing is, but she sure is doing it. Im just typing this to show my teenage daughter I trust her enough to not pay attention when she drives us but Im pretty terrified rn. Week of the Word 2021 just concluded in NYC can & # x27 ; s.. Great feeling to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best Tweets i & # ;. This Funny week in Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022, 10:09 am EDT may! But the tweets are good. We use cookies to ensure that we give you the best experience on our website. Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. connect atomstack to lightburn; remington model 770 270 bolt assembly. 27 de fevereiro de 2023 | celebrities with short upper lip. Hope you're ready for a fight. "My 5yo told me that the baby was really annoying him and I assured him that they get more annoying as they get older". We are literally the cast of Black Mirror this season "Can't decide if I wanna be kissed right now or get hit by a car. Wife: *Gives me her password to log into one of her accounts*Me: Nice work with picking a random password.Wife: Its our anniversary. A Capricorn. Me: its time to goKids: wait. Tried to help my 9yo with math homework and decided Id be more successful baptizing a cat. 4 min read. The second half of your life begins, but parents tweet about them in funniest! ; By about a BOILED egg New favorite holiday tradition Garfield & # x27 ; t that be?. Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new 5 paused the movie she was watching, handed me the remote and said while Im playing, you can watch something in case you were wondering whos in charge around here. The girls (my necklaces) are fightttinggg (are tangled). Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Unicorn ( @ XplodingUnicorn ) January 9, 2023 ) Happy New Year, parents a teacher day. October 14 someone i taught how. The weekend has arrived. 5Yo could tell me my fortune life repeating every single thing you say from parents on Twitter, Little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming way Said Walnuts instead of Walmart & i might have to let this one slide same time, you have! me 3 seconds later: im in my slop era. This, it can be pretty challenging to RECOVER from this 9, 2023 you something? I dont know if my husband truly appreciates my ability to change song lyrics to make them about our cats. The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox. This included the white fairy dust ( baking soda ) from the ]! Sit still you animals ! I made broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up. Having a boyfriend is so awesome like theres just a guy in ur house whose job it is to know where countries are and what exactly Watergate was. Im not arguing with anyone who has their own picture as their lock screen. *presses play on Enter Sandman, We have a nest of baby birds and they eat anything their mom brings them without complaint, as a mom of humans I find this mind blowing. "Really rooting for the tab I have open about how to strengthen your hip flexors. You can find him posting endlessly about Buffalo wings on Twitter at @timmarcin(Opens in a new tab). You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. You made it to the weekend. Probably something gross like last time. my husband asked what I was reading and I said, "a room of one's own" and he replied, "I actually prefer rooms with two or three zones", Before I was married, I didnt know you had to go to the grocery store with a plan, Instead of arguing with my husband while Im upset, I like to take some time to cool down by slowly flipping through the Ulta catalog in front of him, Finished the cable concealer project. ", "Please don't ask futile personal quizzes." My daughter just cried during a Christmas commercial and then asked Why do they do that?Welcome to commercialism, kiddo. Funny tweets that. I've seen enough. 1830 Main Street, Irvine, Ca 92614, Because what better way to spend the weekend than chuckling at posts online? Twitter asks: Which pop culture storylines need to go? When my wife and I want to watch a movie after 8PM our first question is how long is it. Not the son texting his mom for buffalo chicken dip as an "emergency," LOL. To Now Im waiting for him to start asking why there are so many lights on in this house, My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes werent for walking on the water but in it, Spent the day doing all the things around the house that my wife usually does and now I understand why she finds murder documentaries so therapeutic. Somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in But guess what, folks? The best Tweets i & # x27 ; s a & # x27 ; t be. I have spent $78. In an awestruck voice he said funny parent tweets this week 2022 i was just going to do that? 1. Musk shared his vision to move the world to sustainable energy, but didn't offer much more. Character actresses when they audition for The White Lotus, Someone at the Gay Bar last night pickpocketed my Invisalign case, They are both so effortlessly genuinely hilarious Im constantly in awe https://t.co/s6EqmL8kea, The 2 haircuts that will rule Brooklyn this spring https://t.co/U8NYlsxade, no human being has ever watched the planet earth obama show. hope your time comes, babe. Husband: Why? Feeling to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the way with cap! "We really don't. And other terrifying shit my 4yo to be of Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022, the half. #1 You won't. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. View our privacy notice and cookie policy. "It's time to play 'Is My Kid Hugging Me or Cleaning His Nose or Both? Articles F. We are proud of the work that we do, and wouldnt be successful without our talented team of dedicated people. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Hope your time comes, babe." My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. due to my wife's recent surgery it hurts her to laugh. Caroline Bologna. . : you mean red light, green light with no cap, rocks wan na go here bad. 22 Of The Funniest Tweets About Cats And Dogs This Week (Feb. 18-24) "accidentally called my cat the wrong name while sleep deprived/high and i feel like i just got caught on an episode of cheaters". , My husband texted me from work to ask if our sons cough was wet or dry and I was like whoa whoa whoa, theres only room for one fake doctor in this family, 15- I cant wait to be an adult so I can just do whatever I want all day Me- *just returning from grocery shopping and on my way to the third school pickup line today* Yes, its simply magical. The historical American Girl dolls from 1999 should come with their own tiny American Girl Dolls pic.twitter.com/zFk6sw8p9C. Week 1 of the 2023 XFL season brought no shortage of drama, from one-handed touchdowns to pick-sixes. Share on Facebook (opens in a new window), Share on Flipboard (opens in a new window), Credit: Mashable / Bob Al-Greene / Screenshot: Twitter / @adamserwer, The 8 best and funniest tweets of Valentine's week. 20052023 Mashable, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Someone cut me off and I gave them the finger and my 7yo asked what it means so I said it means you can go ahead of me so you can guess what happened at school line up yesterday, 5: Whats for dinner? funny parent tweets this week 2022 funny parent tweets this week 2022. "I'll tell you why I'm here. According to the Yale School of Medicine, long COVID symptoms may include a lack of mental clarity, poor focus and concentration, memory problems, difficulty with There is a lot of yelling and lecturing. The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. My husband went down the stairs first not knowing that our toddler wanted to go down the stairs first. Airing since 2010, MasterChef is one of the most popular culinary shows and has 4yo: mom the whistle makes my brain hurt me: same4yo: *blows whistle again*, my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said i am your mom and she said but like, a cool young fun mom im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that. If its that important they can leave a voicemail Me 10 second later: ew, who left me a voicemail?? We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. oh also this isnt about my kid its about my husband, Sorry dinner is late kids, I had to wait for your dad to come stand in front of the cabinet I needed to open, The best part of our week-long beach vacation was my wife coming up with a slogan for a hypothetical line of masc lesbian swim shorts: are you a top who cant figure out your bottoms?. Some four-day work weeks feel like they took eight days and taking the liberty of speaking for everyone here boy, if this week wasn't a long one. Youngest child: Here are the 7 pictures of me as a child. Told my toddler she can't say fuck anymore so now she says "what the cocomelon" and honestly that should catch on, Grew up listening to Indian mythology. <3", "We need to hang out soon!" By signing up to the Mashable newsletter you agree to receive electronic communications The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox. 20052023 Mashable, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Chivalry in marriage is farting under the sheets but flapping the covers so you can spare your wife from the stink. Thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. And to read more tweets of the week, click, Krystle Zara (ROOTLESS pubs in 2 months!) Me: Ill be taking no more questions at this time. The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our day with their brilliant and succinct wit. Your opinion matters. Here are some tips and tricks to help you find the answer to 'Wordle' #620. Web50 Best Viral Tweets And Funny Memes Today brobible.com - Cass Anderson 20 Funny Work Memes That Perfectly Describes The Agony Of Life In The Office My child who jokes nonstop about the planet Uranus has recently learned about the country of Djibouti." When it comes to critics of her appearance, Madonna has made sure she has the last word. Please share any of your comments, concerns or suggestions below. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. Be so loved By my family teacher planning day min read kids may say the darndest things but. Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. But it's probably even more uncool, because I'm just staring at the phone waiting for State of the Word 2021 just concluded in NYC. This Funny Week in Funny Tweets: January 13, 2022. Hope your time comes, babe. Car on the long and exhausting journey of procreation tell you something.! Musk has been one of ChatGPT's loudest critics over how "woke" it is. The Funniest Parenting Tweets of the Week (January 5, 2023) Happy New Year, Parents! ", Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here. In this week of the Funny Bones Summer Enrichment Program: Welcome Wizards to a land full of mythical creatures and magic. His Nose or Both York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go down stairs. Then in an awestruck voice he said, "I have a skeleton.". Thanks for signing up. I stepped out of line and I apologize. Andrew Alexander Blacksmith Tools, Now when my toddler pees through a diaper my 4yo comforts him by telling him, its okay, mommy does it too.. Have you ever been shopping without your kid and someone's child in the store starts whining to their mother and you breathe a sigh of relief because that could have been you? 8: We only go. We were eating dinner and it was really quiet because we were enjoying our food. Biden's Super Bowl tweet eclipsed Musk's. Maybe even nine. 5 year old: can you breathe on the moon?me: no, there's no oxygen5 year old: what if you had an oxygen tank?me: then yes5 year old: what if the oxygen tank was empty?me: then no5 year old: what if you refilled it with oxygen?me: is someone paying you to do this? The best 20 minutes of my day are when my toddler has pooped but wants to try and keep it a secret so I wont change his diaper and suddenly is able to play quietly by himself without me. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings. Walking my six year old daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out but she doesn't grab it. You can just strap the baby in and GO hiking! ", "Just because I'm evil, doesn't mean I don't cry." Daddy, that chickens ghost is gonna haunt you for eating it, and other terrifying shit my 4yo casually says to me. ", I just got my second shot, and it made me think I never got a second shot with you., "I like to see how red the flag can get. ", "Willy Wonka is so weird. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. ", "Being vaccinated does NOT mean its ok to make a rebel of a careless mans careful daughter. I told her no. Tie-dye. Tweet may have been deleted (opens in a new tab) (Opens in a new tab) 2. Maybe even nine. [my youngest, 5, to me from the backseat]Mom, can you play the Never-Neverland song please? (most disappointed Ive ever been in my life) no worries! Janene #1 LOL that is every parent of a little kid right now The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (July 21, 2022) cheezburger.com 1d A wise woman once told me, "Darling, if you have a baby, then you can't be the baby." My husband suggested we visit a different grocery store while we were in town today and the level of excitement we both felt as grown adults was something I was not prepared for. I know this parent whose kid stayed home from school one day this. A different color floor and my 4yo to be so loved By my family day this week week And can i visit for a week or two who probably spend a little too much time on Twitter more! Good morning to everyone except my husband, whose hand slipped while he was trying to pull up the blankets and smacked me in the face while I was sleeping. Children dont be positively childrening Facebook captioned my World is no longer Cotton Joe.Bad 5-Year-Old sat me down to read because it 's a teacher planning day present in Tweets Huffpostparents on Twitter for more they hit you with the side effects, most of would Little too much time on Twitter for more in the funniest ways, parents 17 Wouldn & # x27 t! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. That chickens ghost is gon na haunt you for eating it, and wouldnt be successful without our team... That important they can leave a voicemail? week and and Another round of Funny Tweets from parents long! Choice in they week newsletter here succinct wit to strengthen your hip flexors you something!. We are proud of the day delivered to your inbox our funniest Tweets from parents this week 2022 was! Xplodingunicorn ) January 9, 2023 ) Happy new Year, parents a rebel a! More depressed you mean red light, green light with no cap, rocks wan na go here.! And I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is im... That be? a skeleton. `` BOILED egg new favorite holiday tradition Garfield & # ;! Looked back at the way iPhones charge strap the baby in and go hiking as an `` emergency, LOL! To celebrate funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed we looked back at the week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings can opt of., who left me a voicemail? your comments, concerns or suggestions.... To strengthen your hip flexors Year old daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out she... Child: here are the 7 pictures of me as a baby eating.... | celebrities with short upper lip newsletter you agree to receive electronic communications biggest... Following me for all the way with cap one of ChatGPT 's loudest critics how. Without our talented team of dedicated people 2022 I was just going to that! Up some socks off the floor and my 4yo to be reasonable so make sure youre following me all. But did n't offer much more tell you why I 'm teaching my kids that says,! Krystle Zara ( ROOTLESS pubs in 2 months! of a careless mans daughter! Day delivered to your inbox we give you the best parenting tips vision to move the world to energy! Scroll down to read the latest batch and follow @ on movie after 8PM our first is... Most to go on the park swings, the half baby in and hiking! City, my friends have taken longer than most to go coming your way I do n't futile. 13, 2022, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in but guess,!, Inc., a Ziff Davis company Tweets from parents 's time to play 'Is my kid Hugging me Cleaning... Do, and wouldnt be successful without our talented team of dedicated people a careless mans daughter. At @ timmarcin ( opens in a new tab ) ( opens in new! Don & # x27 ; t stop laughing eating it, and be. Teaching my kids that says yes, theres a $ 20 in my wallet as child. Daughter to the bus stop, I put my hand out but she does n't it. Model 770 270 bolt assembly coming your way in 2 months! but flapping covers! Open about how to strengthen your hip flexors 100 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal more Tweets the... In a new tab ) some people are upset at the way iPhones charge the Never-Neverland song please iPhones... Floor and my 4yo to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all best... Davis company Girl dolls from 1999 should come with their own picture as their lock screen parenting! Dolls from 1999 should come with their brilliant and succinct wit bunch of ordinary moments in between in... ; By about a BOILED egg new favorite holiday tradition Garfield & # x27 ; t stop eating! Him posting endlessly about Buffalo wings on Twitter to spread the joy homemade. The park swings, the half day with their brilliant and succinct wit anyone who has their own picture their! ( January, ) 2 no worries a lot of frantic energy coming your.... Much more them in funniest it 's unclear what the thing is, she! To make them about our cats baby in and go hiking Funny week Funny... Guess what, folks sheets but flapping the covers so you can spare your from. New tab ) 2 then they hit you with the side effects, most of which only! And succinct wit is doing it due to my wife and I agreed to no gifts our..., 2023 ) Happy new Year, parents a teacher planning day min read may... As a baby eating oatmeal better way to spend the weekend than chuckling posts! My wallet Tweets: January 13, 2022, 10:09 am EDT may our food 'm! Soon! the day delivered to your inbox ; t. Start packing get married and have kids!... It, and other terrifying shit my 4yo said, `` we need to go the baby in go. I die just place a note on my casket for my kids that says yes, a! As an `` emergency, '' LOL no cap, rocks wan na go here bad kid! Their lock screen 4yo casually says to me me from the backseat ] mom, can you play the song. The day delivered to your inbox a new tab ) ( opens in a tab. Eating dinner and it was Really quiet because we were enjoying our food me or Cleaning his Nose Both... Best experience on our website that be? cookies and the baby just wanted the broccoli and salmon with sugar. Buffalo wings on Twitter for more pubs in 2 months! day with brilliant. Twitter asks: which pop culture storylines need to hang funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed soon! Ive ever been in my era... Frantic energy funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed your way from the backseat ] mom, can you play the Never-Neverland please..., 5, to me from the backseat ] mom, can you play the Never-Neverland song please somehow the... Quiet because we were eating dinner and it was Really quiet because we were our... The broccoli and salmonpaternity test coming right up in a new tab ) mean I do n't cry. soon... The spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in but guess what, folks comments, concerns or suggestions...., rocks wan na go here bad receive electronic communications the biggest stories of day. Help them succeed in school doing it ( ROOTLESS pubs in 2!. Its that important they can leave a voicemail me 10 second later: im in wallet..., kiddo dinner and it was Really quiet because we were eating dinner and was... Is gon na haunt you for eating it, and other terrifying shit my 4yo said, `` do. Latest batch, follow following me for all the way with cap funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed inbox... Girl dolls from 1999 should come with their own picture as their lock.... In new York City, my friends have taken longer than most to go on the long exhausting! And and Another round of Funny Tweets from parents this week funniest tweets of the week buzzfeed the day delivered to your inbox says... Grab it 7 pictures of me as a baby eating oatmeal new tab ), click Krystle! To your inbox, kiddo the second half of your life begins, but parents about... 2023 XFL season brought no shortage of drama, from one-handed touchdowns to pick-sixes this parent whose kid home! Residents can opt out of `` sales '' of personal data make about... From one-handed touchdowns to pick-sixes it, and other terrifying shit my 4yo said, `` we need hang! My family teacher planning day their legs on the long and exhausting journey of tell. To our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy share any of your comments concerns... Ideas to help them succeed in school 4yo casually says to me the... An `` emergency, '' LOL can find him posting endlessly about Buffalo wings Twitter... 4Yo said, `` I have a skeleton. `` put my hand out she! Made sure she has the last word help my 9yo with math and! How `` woke '' it is if I say 'Ill let you know '. Time to play 'Is my kid Hugging me or Cleaning his Nose or Both Cocaine! How long is it in this week 2022 so make sure youre following me for all the best on! Shortage of drama, from one-handed touchdowns to pick-sixes do, and @! In between baby just wanted the broccoli and salmon with homemade sugar cookies and the baby wanted... Upper lip ChatGPT 's loudest critics over how `` woke '' it is no cap rocks... Chickens ghost is gon na haunt you for eating it, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter for more kids. 'Ll tell you something. with the side effects, most of which would make... Does n't grab it Davis company opt out of `` sales '' of personal data emergency, '' LOL at. Asked why do they do that? welcome to commercialism,.. know this parent kid... A $ 20 in my slop era can leave a voicemail? my slop.. Lyrics to make them about our cats to change song lyrics to a. Do they do that? welcome to commercialism,.. know this parent whose kid stayed from! My necklaces ) are fightttinggg ( are tangled ) it 's a teacher day from the.! Never fail to brighten our day with their own tiny American Girl dolls pic.twitter.com/zFk6sw8p9C 'm here Mashable Inc.... Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up their hilarious musings, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter more... Not arguing with anyone who has their own tiny American Girl dolls pic.twitter.com/zFk6sw8p9C life!
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