But my 14month old is obsessed with his dad and it totally kills me. Instead, I think this is the way to see the situation: You ask can a baby not like their mom..? fnaf security breach drawings sundrop. And the fact that your daughter is now fussy eater may have absolutely nothing to do with those difficult times. If we know why this is happening maybe we can change it! There is no need for us to feel bad, they are babies, they know they need us and we know they love us. Paula, please give me some advice! While the rate for men with children under 18 hovered between 92.2% and 95.3% depending on child age, the rate for women with children under 18 ranged from 63.8% and 77%. I did everything a mom should do with their child. And you seem to interpret your daughters behavior as if she is blaming you. It also sounds as if you are not in a place where you feel supported or comforted in your experiences. I clean up UNBELIEVABLY poopy diapers. She wants to be with anyone else in the house except me. I just want to know what I am doing wrong, so I can change it. I spent a lot of time crying and have found it hard, but I have loved my son and spent 7 months with him looking after him playing with him feeding him etc. It was very stressful for me not getting help for 7 months and throughout pregnancy. You might feel really, really sad about going back to work, but you might also feel really excited. I feel very sad when this happens as I am already sitting in my home for her resigned from my job.She never wants to come to me. It hurt me so deeply that I felt that I would be going into a depression very soon. A ground-breaking study has found that mothers can go back to work months after the birth of their child without the baby's wellbeing suffering as a result. More Like This Please help me!! But then therell be these random times in between where she wants only me, like the other night when we went to dinnergrammy, 2 grampas, and daddy were all there, and she cried when she went to any of them and cried and reached for me. Mostly because he or she is a baby who really has no idea what "work" is, but also because you're a good mom who loves her baby no matter what. Since youve always been there for her, that might play a big part in what is going on. May God help us all. Welcome to Easy Baby Life your one-stop shop for positive parenting tips and tools from pregnancy and on! If she spends the most time with grandma, it is very possible that she feels th most secure with her touch and smell right now. It is probably more common for Mom to be prefered than Dad, but it happens both ways. by Ashley Jones July 13, 2021 Everything that happens in your life once you have a baby just feels different.. My son has done this to me ever since he was about 4 months old. At first I thought I was imagining it, but after doing a few experiments I had to admit that he really didnt want to be around me. But the emotional part of me feels devastated. She preferred me up until recently. Recently my sis in law has come back after her long leave.. my son of 3 years has totally changed seeing his aunt.. since she is at home now, i leave my son with her when i am at work.. it is so helpful to hear from others who are in similar boats. I take care of my son and love him and do the very best I can. 2 weeks after I had my baby boy I got Post Partum Depression very very bad but I wasnt pushing my baby away I would feed him and play with him everything that I could do for him not to feel my anxiety and depression I am finally out of this depression but I noticed that my son (11 months) would rather be with his aunt than me. Well, they dont know each other yet! No phone, no talking to your wife, no planning of the next day at work. If anything, it will harm the situation more. She returned to work 12 days later because she wanted to save her unpaid leave so she could spend time with Eden after she . Take your baby for a casual walk. Honestly I couldnt really handle it for the 8 or 9 months or however long it lasted for me. If must be terribly hard to be away so much from your family and then come home and not feel welcome. I do everything for her but she does not know that I am her mother. When toddlers reject their mothers, it's either one of the three reasons explained above. But again, to keep you in their minds even when youre not there, both recordings and video conversations might be good. My husband and mother care for him while Im gone (Mon-Fri 12-7pm). Your toddler has been used to having mom all to themselves. It is good to know you are not the only one it is a hard thing to talk to anyone about so great to have a place to come and be honest with your feelings ..thank you. Even if i hold my hand out for her, she clings to my MIL and my husband. I am a stay at home mom, I give her stimulation when she wants it by giving her tummy time or playtime with me or her bouncy. or something similar. If she is with me then she walks a way the moment she hears or sees her grandma. It might happen out of the blue, after a new baby, or even while you're pregnant. Maybe it is time for both you and her to have a break. Goodness! It will happen, if your baby is bonding with others s/he will bond with you. It might be worth trying too. At around 5 to 7 years of age, the opposite happens, but usually not as extreme, since the child is older. That doesnt mean that he doesnt love you. And then a last piece of advice ask your mom to help you do the running around fixing things so that you can spend as much time as possible with your little girl. In all honestly, she did take a bottle eventually. Push her away and put your foot down. Chances are great that things have improved and you might even be able to add back a few of the rules that you let go of, if you still think that they are necessary. Also, its kind of like when you go on holiday and leave your cat, when you come home the cat can be pretty miffed with you for leaving them, it can take a while for them to come round. Can a baby NOT like their mom? She scratches me especially on the face near my eyes which really hurts she sometimes bites me or cries when i go near her and refuses any toys i might give her also she longer longer enjoys any of the songs i used to sing to her. Or give me some advice so she wont freak out on me like she does? Or I bundle them together, rather than giving each one of them time. for example, is perfect for a baby with separation anxiety. I get up with him in the middle of the night when Im so tired I could die. In the long run, I really hope that your boyfriend and your step-daughters mom will find a way to co-operate nothing will be more healing for the baby than that. She gets hysterical if I take her off him. He cant be without her for even a minute. He didnt want to talk to his dad when he was with his mom either. I feel as though he hates me. I do everything for him and it makes me very sad. :) :) :). My wife works part time on my days off, meaning our daughter goes into a lovely nursery 1-3 days per week and we split the child care between us for the rest. And do things together all of you. I have been struggling with the same thing for the last two weeks. tis always lead me n my husband to quarrel ..i cant slp goes i am really very very deep down crying n dying. There are many ways to start bonding with an older baby, like your daughter. Six weeks is the average length of time needed for a mom to recover after giving birth. why does he do this?? If your baby is younger than one year, even if she seems to be losing interest in breastfeeding, chances are she is not yet ready to wean. Whats more heart breaking, is my partner totally doesnt take my feelings seriously.& when i was trying hard, hell come & spoils her by taking her back to his own hands. Seems it starts around this age. When they put him on my chest right after delivery it was the most beautiful moment of my life. But I dont get a look in. 11. I am sure that one day, he will know who his mother is and what she did for him. not just for school its changing his diper or feeding him foods he will not eat from me at all i dont know why? Then she totally ignores me and even if I try to play with her she ends up going to my mom. I know a significant factor in my issues with my son was my inability to bond because of my terrible adjustment to being a mother/post partum depression. I try to kiss her, hold her and tell her that I miss her and all she does is throw a tantrum and cry until her dad is holding her again. but Ive become hardened to it. Feed your milk to your baby. And if your having trouble bonding with your child, and he/she is old enough to understand then sit them down and explain you are their mom and you love them, hug them, play with them and be involved with them on how you feel. It's never easy dealing with a toddler rejecting mom. I am so confused and sad. Try movement like rocking 4. there were times that she slept with my caretaker before i got home to take her to our room could it be this? I started wearing lavender lotion every time i saw her, trying in some way to create a bond. The answer is yes, although breastfeeding after returning to work is definitely trickier in some situations. she just stared at him from top to bottom, puzzled how come daddy is not in the TV (our tv screen connected to the laptop). Anyways here is the question: The childs mother wants to see her but obviously we are afraid shell take off again. Ive been the only person that has been able to put her to sleep or take her anywhere alone aside from her father. However, after my mom left, I take care of her whole day and I do everything for her. What she calls you means nothing. she enjoys talking to him on a phone. Then when my mother-in-law came to pick him up so I could go to work and I tried to give him a kiss he wouldnt let me and he hit me in the face and cried when I tried to give and hug and hold him he cried. Dont blame them and pick a time to talk to them when you can do it without being disturbed. I have to admit that I was very impressed by his childcare skills. Her 3 month check-up was at the end of my first week of work, and the pediatrician gave us some temporary options. Been that way for the past year now. First of all, I think you should try to talk to your parents about how you feel and that you need their help. sometimes I sit and think i should just give her to her father. lying down or the underarm hold). I have a 16 or 17 month cousin, but she calls me Mom! I often wonder if day care would be a better option. I am sure she wants the best for her daughter, i.e. so its my mom or her caretaker. Adoption, at least a much as having a biological child is a huge responsibility, hard work, and a wonderful journey filled with love. That is wonderful for your little daughter! Take a deep breath and focus and love and joy when you interact with your daughter. For the mom with low milk supply who is supplementing with bottles her baby may start refusing to breastfeed. i also wrote here several months ago. I really hope this was at least a little bit of help. I know shes only 6 months but shes not loving at all towards me..If i try to hug her and cuddle she pushes and screams and kicks, she would rather go to anyone but me.i treat her like an angel and I dont understand why she doesnt seem to love me.. Shes a really happy smiley baby. i dun get to spent time with her during weekdays..my husband dun understand me wat i am going through . If you are going back to work at 6 weeks, you could start introducing your baby to a bottle about two weeks beforehand. And I suspect it isnt helping your wife either. The Reddit . Play lots of games with your daughter. Ive seen couples fist fighting, calling the police, threatening to take the children and you name it. wont she not even a day look out for me. A baby or toddler may react by rejecting a parent after going back to work. Let's look at why a baby rejects mom after going back to work, and some helpful tips on what to do about it! So chin up, head down. Therefore, the mom has a place to turn to when trying to make food for her family after a busy day and within a short time. Not only are you dealing with the guilt you feel about leaving your baby to return to the daily grind, but there are also those nagging thoughts constantly swimming through your mind about being able to handle the transition back to the office. Every experience is different, but generally, it takes around six weeks to feel relief from most postpartum symptoms after having a baby. He is great with me on my own we play cuddle and take him to the park a lot. But it is normal and nothing you can do will stop it, at least not in a healthy way, since this is part of your childs development. Our job is then to not take it personally, not reinforce it by showing strong emotions, but simply allow our children to for some reason need one parent more than the other from time to time, It is painful, but it is normal development. I do everything my mother does yet apparently I dont love her enough!! It is not uncommon that a baby has periods of preferring one parent over the other, but it can be a bit of tabu and maybe something that people avoid talking about as if the rejected parent is doing something wrong. I dont know what to do. A more upright position makes it easier for the milk to go "down the hatch.". I started wrk after 4 mths of her birth . A 1 year old will not do anything very differently the next time anyway. What is wrong with me? It has been 37 years and we are not close. Hes happy all day till grandma gets here (everyday) she comes by and plays with him for 1-2 hours and then I go to get him and he wont even put his arms out to me! It did not used to be this way she used to be very attached to me. After reading these posts I made sure to remain absolutely calm and neutral and not get teary or upset when he preferred his daddy over me. A stock image of a woman waving goodbye to her son and a small child. Step 1: Bring the nipple (no bottle attached) to the baby's mouth and rub it along the baby's gums and inner cheeks, allowing the baby to get used to the feeling and texture of the nipple. If your baby was nursing well and suddenly refuses your breast, this may be what some call a . but around the age of 8 or 9 months she just would prefer other peopleshe would go with anyoneI was hurt and devastated. Method 1: Take the Baby for a Walk in a Baby Carrier Facing Out Now that you have your bottle ready, it's time to get started. The bond is there, and you obviously love her very much. Such a silly situation. A few weeks back she was ill and I stayed at home to look after her. I am really concerned with my family in the way how my daughter prefers only me when I am around. And when I get her home she ignores me. But during this next period, children no longer want to marry their parent of the opposite sex and parent of the same sex become a lot more important. Your daughter loves you pretty much more than anything in the world. I will try that and let everyone know how it goes. He is adorable such an angel baby, doesnt cry unless hungry, sleeps all night from 3 months, ready with a smile. Ive made the comment to my husband on several occasions, but now that my daughter is 3 and expresses herself verbally it is really affecting me. Because my Mom lives with me and is ALWAYS there, there is no line between day time care and home. We have not been physical with each other for 5 years, actually it only happened the once and I got pregnant. as soon as she hears my moms voice or her caretaker, she would perk up and try to crawl to them, not wanting me to hold her anymore. should i stop my caregiver from sleeping next to her to maybe stop them from being too close? Try rocking gently whilst feeding. He hates being cuddled in my arms and the only time I manage to have him in my arms is when I am feeding him at night and ONLY because he is half asleep. Now that you've understood the first approach, solving this issue won't be so hard. Or is she a bit distant to you also then? Being just 1 month old (you can read about the milestones of a 1 month old baby here), your daughter doesnt think anyone is her mom she is just reacting to what feels the most secure. In fact, seems to be a little bit of a common trend in babies around this age. I cry all the time. Mom is getting really depressed with this and is the reason for many of the heated arguments between us. I would hate for it to be the opposite. The sun will rise tomorrow, and tomorrow is a fresh start. When he's with me. I cooked everyday to make meals that she likes, I hold her all the time despite my back pain, I have tried so hard for her but I still failed. It isn't exactly easy, balancing the needs of your child with likely way less sleep than you're used to, while trying to be the same employee you were before you left. To help us both my Mom moved in and now stays home with my daughter while I work. She goes to everyone and she does not seem to miss me if i am not around. In ramping up to retuning to work after a parental leave . Eventually they will come to you, you just have to be present, consistent, loving and available. Fight for your baby. A massage, a warm bath, movie night with your partner: a little downtime goes a long way. Maybe she thinks you dont want her and feels rejected going to work when she is still so young? We laugh all the time! I am the one who always has to make contact if I want to see her or my grandkids. Please help! She is in love, so to say, and wants to be with you all the time. I had the same reaction from my baby girl. My husband sees him an hour per day if that and goes out of town a lot. Avoid power struggles around cuddling at all costs! Since about 3 months old she prefers daddy over mommy but now it is to the point where she tells me I dont love you I love my daddy. She pushes me away and wants nothing to do with me. Also, when you come home, try to be together with them together with your wife as much as possible, so that their separation anxiety regarding mom doesnt come between the three of you. Thank you and keep your heads up!! I am not looking to be judgedthere is no other way around this o have to work to pay my mortguage and bills, is anyone in this situation that could offer advice ? Well, its not grumpy, its nore her screaming like Ive thrown her on the floor! I thought my son did this because of his cesarean and my dh being the one to help. My point is this this WILL pass. You sound so sad and worried and writing the first few months were black makes me suspect that you were (and maybe still are) suffering from a postpartum depression. But Im glad that there are a few comments from parents with 4 and 5 years old with the same concern. Its the worst feeling in the world that, after a 13 hour work day, I come home to a baby who doesnt want me and a daddy who has absolutely no sympathy to my feelings. So worried he is forgeting about me. But they arent helping your relationship with your child. She seems to have the same behavior with my wife too. But, I do know I cant wallow. I really think this scenario is the worst case scenario many of us feared for ourselves. Babies have a huge radar for love. Many babies act the same way as your daughter punishing the one who left her. Yet our daughter still wants nothing to do with her except when its meal time. However the last few days as he has been spending more time with his dad he starts to moan when we are together and nothing is good enough and he cries really badly when he is hungry. xxx. and youre doing the right thing. I jokingly say she sees me as the grim reaper of sleep, but I think its true, and it really hurts. My baby was very attached to me but now she doesnt love me at all, she only wants my mother, she even calls her mama and she doesnt call me anything, she only wants to be with her , when she is sick or not sick, when she is sleepy etc She cries when my mom goes out and when my mom comes home she gets very happy and runs to her, i have cried every night for the past 2 weeks it hurts me so bad to see her not loving me, on the weekends i go out with her alone trying to spend more time with her, but its doesnt work at all!!!! I just got back to my parents and was so relieved to see my son but he acted and is acting uninterested in me but my husband got a huge happy reaction from our baby. I work very part time 3 days a week for a total of 16 hours. He loves her and often she is so mean that he gets his feelings hurt. It is still, however, important to take into consideration a few things before actually going back to work: . Im a married mom with a 14 month old son who is obsessed with his dad and treats me like garbage a lot of the time. I used to adore my parents to death. Thats good too; try to see that. They might have some preference at 1 point or the other, bt just continue loving them and they wd return it back eventually. Your mother is totally taking over and you need to talk to her and if she wont listen then talk to a family member and ask if they can have a word with her with you. A couple of things helped: 1) we play her favorite music at very loud volume during the feeding to distract her, 2) we make sure to feed her before she gets very hungry so that she is still in a good mood, 3) we make sure my husband, the caregiver, always gives her the bottle, and 4) we keep trying at different times if she doesn't take the I hope what you said is true and its just a phase. Hi, When my husband and I return from work (both at the same time) he always searches for his father and greets him with a big smile, as for me he ignores me completely and I am the one that plays with him most. thank you for writing tips on coping. Nursing strikes happen for many reasons. What can I do? please give me some advice. This still happens when, for example, he seems disinterested in me when I pick him up from daycare. Theres even a song that we all sing together as a family since my husband left. I have never been an insecure person ever and for some reason I cant seem get this off my mind. But when she is sick, she comes running to mommy to give her medicine and take here to the doctors. I still want my mommy on bad days. Ive been home with her from the beginning. When I first began reading these comments most were talking about their 6 to 8 months old infants. It is an intensive period. Its absolutely heartbreaking to me. I bathe with her, I nurse her, I stay up with her in the wee hours of the night, I sing to her, I play with her, I carry her, I feed her, I change her I cannot fathom how she could possible love her caregiver or father more than me. My youngest daughter is almost 2 years old. But as soon as Daddy is home, I really become part of the furniture. However, since she was 8+months, she has been fighting me and does not want me to hold her when she sees her caretaker. Therefore, dont think of it as spoiling her if your husband is carrying her around. Going by the earlier posts, my problem is likely due to my travel job. Hi Im a step father an I have a little boy who is 2 now an I been in his life since he was three months old. I am searching high and low for a place away from her. Thanks. I breastfeed and she doesnt like when I look at her or she will fuss again. He is now a year old, but at around 9 months he did the same thing with me. It hurt me so much, I feel as if lm not doing enough. I have a beautiful 15 month old little girl, and am so worried that I have permanently damaged our relationship in some way.I think its started from birth really, when she was born I was desperate to nurse her but she seemed to fight my efforts and would arch her back and scream and punch at me with so much hate in her eyes. Its just so strange I dont know what to do!! In any event, what helped me was to actively and often affirm to myself that I am a GOOD mother. But now my loving daugher has became a real little terror. Maybe the little girl should spend less time with someone else if it is causing a problem. i work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. I breastfeed her and I handle 98% of all care for her. When I am around, I try to maximize my time with all the children playing, reading, dropping off and picking up from school and even going out and it seems to work great for my older two. Thank you thank you thank you!! 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